My life and letting go
Entry 1 - Introduction
In our lifetimes we accumulate objects, habits, notions, pets, and people. Then at some point we look at our lives and say, “What was I thinking? I need to get rid of this.” So we clear. We unload. We make space. We may breathe a sigh of relief or we may feel regret.
I love the idea of living minimally but my mind is too cluttered. I hold on to too many inanimate objects for sentimental reasons--especially everything related to my daughter (including her baby teeth that fell out). Or think, “I could use this object someday.” Three years later that object is still unused collecting dust or rust. I look at all the piles of my stuff around me and think, “I’m a mini hoarder.”
Not all letting go is based on if an inanimate object ‘sparks joy’ as Marie Kondo says. Sometimes we are forced to let go of an idea or situation or a pet or person we love. In the past two weeks I learned my sister’s 15 year old chocolate lab passed, my beloved first cousin passed, and a wonderful client passed. Eventually we will need to let go of our own lives.
Letting go of working in an office
I’ve had ample time to accumulate, as a mid-sixty year old. Even though I’m at the age where many of my peers are retired or in the process of retiring, I still work full time. I haven’t let go of my current work identity yet. So even though this blog is about some of the letting go I’ve done in my life and am actively doing, it’s also about aspects that are still an active part of my life. For some of the names of people I mention I will use pseudonyms.
When I was in my late 30s I came up with an idea of publishing a magazine supporting gay and lesbian parents. At that time, my partner Sara and I were living in Hawaii and we became new parents to a beautiful daughter. From 1992 until 1998, I had already ‘cut my teeth’ publishing a local holistic health themed magazine called Ohohia. I circulated 10,000 copies of Ohohia by driving around in my faded cream colored Toyota Corolla Wagon filled with newsprint copies; I’d drop off bundles at centers, libraries, and retail outlets. Ohohia never had a website because at the time the world wide web and email were in their early stages of starting its rapid spread. I had a very active fax machine and was putting together the magazine using paste-up and desktop publishing (no one under the age of 60 knows what the last two are). At the same time the number of gays and lesbians becoming parents was in its infancy but also starting to grow immensely.
In the summer of 1998, with our young daughter, Sara and I moved to Queens, New York City. We actually moved back to NYC but I will explain that in future entry. After settling in NYC, I published Gay Parent Magazine (GPM) in the fall of 1998. First, I published GPM’s website followed by the first print issue a month later (see image of the cover of issue #1 of GPM below). Soon after GPM’s website was launched, I received supportive email from across the country and Canada. We received an email from a parent feeling they were alone and inspired another parent to start a support group. In 2003 I added the tag line to the cover, A Leader in LGBTQ Parenting…when the identity of the community changed into being an all-inclusive acronym that doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue.
When I first became a magazine publisher, over thirty years ago, little did I know I was ahead of my time as I operated and published Ohohia, my first magazine, from our home in Hawaii. When we moved to New York City I continued to work from home while publishing Gay Parent Magazine. One of the main reasons for choosing to work from home was so I could help watch our young daughter. It was also economical not to have to rent an office and personally I’m a lesbian who loves to wear comfortable shoes and dress casual 100% of the time. Dressing up for the office has zero appeal. And of course you can’t beat the commute. A hazard of working at home is I am next to my kitchen and I can swivel my office chair around and in two steps easily grab a snack, or two, or five. I’m currently into dipping Fritos in an avocado I cut in half.
I used to feel working from home was a bit lowly and not very professional. When I spoke with clients on the phone, I used to worry about them hearing my young daughter’s voice in the background. Of course the COVID-19 pandemic changed all that.
Gratitude
My plan is to continue publishing Gay Parent Magazine but as the Trump administration takes office again, my fear is censorship. I as well as millions of LGBTQ people will be watching to see what laws will be instituted. Too many anti-LGBTQ legislation has already been introduced and people in the community are either bracing themselves or leaving the country.
However, not wanting to end this on a foreboding note, I want to express my gratitude for you taking the time to read my first blog entry. I hope you will continue to read, My life and letting go. Certain entries will be available only to paid subscribers. Whether you are a free or paid subscriber, your interest and support is greatly appreciated.
Until next time, I wish you a happy holiday season and winter solstice.
